Monday, March 26, 2012

if a tree falls in the forest...

One of the weird effects of Kathy traveling (other than becoming strangely morbid and thinking about her death all the time) is that I often go for long stretches of time without speaking to another person.  Wednesday, for example, was one of those days. 

I got coffee, so I spoke to someone then, in a real way, since my friend owns the coffee shop.  After that, though, I silently rode the train to work, arrived, went into my office, sat down at my desk, "worked" (which is in quotes because I was slow so mostly I just surfed the web and wrote), went out and bought a salad, where I said "Harvest Cobb, no beets" and "Thank you." I went back to work, and sat in my silent office some more.  I spoke to a friend on the phone for about 15 minutes, then went to a yoga class, where I said, "I don't know, I haven't ever been here before" in response to the question, "Is it always this crowded?" and "Namaste" at the end of the class. Then I rode the train home in silence.

So.  From 8:30 in the morning until 8:30 in the evening, with the exception of one fifteen minute conversation, I said exactly 16 words.  I had the strangest sensation of the day not even happening.

Kathy and I are a high-contact couple.  I mean that not in a physical way, like wrestling or something, but in the way that we talk to each other all day long.  Something interesting happens, I will call her and tell her.  Hell, something boring happens, and I'll call her and tell her.  ("Ugh, sweetie, I'm so boooooooooooored.  And my back hurts.  And I think I saw a roach peering out of the vent in the bathroom.  Yep, love you too, talk to you later.  Bye!")  She is the same way.  ("Hey, can I just ask you something?  Does it sound like I have water running if my phone is on speaker?  REALLY?  A client said that too.  Weird.  Love you too.  Bye!")  They are not always on the phone; sometimes they are over email.  I like this.  It is like, by bearing witness to my day, whether it's roaches in the bathroom, or a run in my stockings, or a scheduling conflict, it really happened

With Kathy in Europe for work, what with the busy schedule and the time changes, I am deprived of this little validation.  I have a whole backlog of things to tell her, and inevitably, some of them are going to slip out of the iron jaws of my memory before she returns and I am able to tell her all my things.  Like, does she even, at this moment, know that I had the Harvest Cobb salad on Wednesday?  I don't think she does!  Thank God I wrote that one down.

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