five tips for staying awake during long conference calls annoyingly scheduled immediately after lunch

Today, I have a 1 1/2 hour conference call scheduled immediately following lunchtime.  This call is a drafting session, which is particularly painful (i.e., boring).  We have these calls for this particular client at relatively regular intervals -- every 4-6 weeks or so.  Here is the thing, though.  Always, ALWAYS without fail, the call is scheduled for a day I am sleep deprived.  Last night I was up late working, but sometimes I am just up late fretting and stressing about something, or I am exhausted from a weekend of working on the house, or A had a school project due that kept us up late, or whatever.  So, I have developed the following strategies for staying awake.  I cannot take full credit for these -- some of them are Kathy's.  But some are all mine.

1.  Don't eat too much.  Not only does the food make you sleepy, but being hungry actually keeps me awake. 
2.  Don't get too hungry.  I know this kind of conflicts with the first one, but a drop in blood sugar can be a dangerous thing.  You have to strike just the right balance.  Sometimes it helps to snack continuously through the call.
3.  Drink two Diet Cokes with your lunch.  Not only does the caffeine help, but needing to go to the bathroom also helps.
4.  Stand up.  This is a good one if you are in your own office, but is less effective for live meetings or conference calls in your boss's office.
5.  Thing about something that is actually interesting.  This is a tough one, because it requires you to not pay attention.  Use sparingly! 

The problem with this particular call is that it is in my boss's office.  I see him doing all of these things -- standing, eating, etc.  But I am limited, because I want to seem professional and wandering around his office in the middle of the call does not seem all that professional to me.  Once, I just broke down and asked if I could get coffee in the middle of the three hour call.  He said yes. 

the illusion of four weeks (with tips!)

A conversation I had with a first year associate at my new firm reminded me of one of my least favorite aspects of Biglaw.  At the conclusion of our conference call, a fourth year, the first year, and I started chatting about associate life.  The first year, who has been at the firm about three months, I think (read: longer than me) finally asked, a bit nervously, "Can I ask you guys something?"  I was excited.  An opportunity for mentoring!  I love mentoring!

"Of course!" we both answered enthusiastically.  The fourth year must love mentoring too.

"Well, my hours are kind of low.  But.... I don't know.  I wanted to take this vacation in July.  Do you think I'm allowed?"  Oh boy.  I bet she thought this was an easy question. 

Officially, associates at my firm are entitled to four weeks of vacation per year.  This is the case at most Biglaw firms -- it's totally market.  So it seems like the answer to this poor first year's question would be a "Yes" as long as she hasn't somehow managed to already take one month off when she's only been here for three. 

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