This is the first page of the journal. Every time I make the well-intentioned gesture of buying myself a journal, I stare at the blank first page for a very long time. I often can't write on it. Usually what ends up happening is that I turn the page and start the journal on page 2. I don't think that this is uncommon. But on a blog, it turns out, there is no page 2 to start on, you have to start on page 1. I didn't really think of that when I decided to take the leap and start this blog. Especially since it is, for now, one of those no-topic-general-musing-on-life blogs, which I can't imagine anyone other than my own self, and maybe my girlfriend, reading.
But. I am tired of feeling as though I am stuck in a job I don't like (a lawyer for a New York City Biglaw firm), with no shot at having the job I want (a writer, who works from home). I'm tired of feeling like, for a myriad of reasons, my life is stuck. I'm tired of feeling like happiness is one step away, just out of reach. Then, yesterday, Meg over at A Practical Wedding wrote something quite lovely and jolting about the bravery of facing rejection that has been rattling around in my head since I read it. And so, I am going to attempt to focus on the nearness of dreams, rather than the distance. I will write, even if no one but my own self and, occasionally, my girlfriend reads it.