hockeytown

Last night, Kathy and I talked about me leaving the law firm.  We have talked about this before, but last night's conversation felt a little different, a little more serious.  Today, after a string of absolutely horrible workdays, I am having a good day at work.  Enjoying it, even.  And because I'm me, it has got me thinking, "WHAT IF I LEAVE AND THEN REGRET IT?"  So the question I have is this:  Am I having a good day at work because I finally decided, deep down, to leave the firm, or does the good day mean I should not leave the firm after all?  Because I am from outside of Detroit, this makes me think of the Red Wings.

When I was a kid, I used to love watching the Red Wings.  Which is weird, because I don't like sports.  But all my friends followed them, and I liked being able to talk about it around the 5th grade equivalent of a water cooler. 

One day, I was at my grandma's house.  I don't remember the details, but everyone was going to do something, and I didn't want to go because the Red Wings were on TV.  My parents tried to convince me to go do it, but I didn't want to miss the game, and really, if I am honest, I was feeling a little lazy.  So all the other kids went and did whatever fun thing, and I stayed home, pretty much alone, to watch the end of the game.  It turns out that there were only like 15 minutes left (which is probably why my parents were trying to convince me not to stay and watch the end of the game).  So I watched the game, and sat around a little bit.  Everyone else came back, and we went to bed.  I was in a room with some siblings and cousins, and they were all talking about the fun thing they got to do.  I remember lying there in the dark thinking, "Oh man did I mess up.  I didn't want to go because I was basically lazy and also wanted to watch TV.  And now I missed all that fun."  I decided right then and there, in 5th grade, that you more often regret the things you don't do than the things you do.

This has evolved into one of my fundamental values.  I try to say "yes" whenever I can.  I try to do the thing, even if I am tired, or cranky, or afraid.  I also really don't like TV.  Maybe because that experience was scarring or something, but I always feel like I am missing out on a Real Life Experience when I am watching TV.  So now.  I suppose really, the question is this:

Which one is "not doing"?  Is quitting not doing, because I am not doing this job anymore?  Or is staying not doing, because I am not making the change?  Alright, well.  Once it's in writing, I think we all know the answer to that, don't we?