One of the drawbacks of a blog being public is that, until you are ready to share something with your enemies, you don't want to put it on your blog. Even if your enemies aren't in the habit of regularly reading your blog, rest assured, the time that you post something you don't want them to know, they will discover your blog and read it. Didn't we all learn that with livejournal in 2001? Right. That's why I never had a livejournal. I don't think I can even count the number of fights amongst friends that were described to me beginning with, "Well, she put on her livejournal that I..." I guess now it's what people post on facebook? Anyway, the internet is public. So my approach to blogging is that I try to imagine the person I would least want reading what I write. Then I pretend they are reading it. And I try to edit out anything I wouldn't want them to know.
The result is that, although there's this thing I crazy want to write about, I can't. It was the source of yesterday's "difficult day" and the insomnia of a few weeks ago. The thing is, the "thing" is actually a good thing, we've just been experiencing some bumps along the way. So I'm forced to write all manner of vauge things about how I had an undescribed "difficult day."
So, the vauge question I have now is, how do you know when to give something up? Do you take the bumps in the road as a sign that you should not be doing the thing in the first place? Or do you look for the deeper meaning behind them, and have faith that everything happens for a reason? Or does everything happening for a reason mean that the bad things are happening to warn you away from the course of action you're currently on?
See how this would all be so much easier if I could just write about the thing itself, instead of posing vague, unanswerable, hypothetical questions?
And, in case you're curious, it has nothing to do with Kathy, and I am not getting pregnant. I realize as I read the questions that that's kind of what it sounds like.