internet presence

Last week, I wrote a long post about where I've been lately.  Then I realized that said post teetered dangerously close to a line called "oversharing" or "dirty laundry."  So I deleted it, and wrote this instead.  Suffice it to say that over the summer, the stress of planning a wedding, renovating a house, working a new job, and parenting three kids just completely overwhelmed me. So, I did the only thing I could -- I withdrew, put my nose to the grindstone, and soldiered through.  Completely unhappily while complaining a lot.

Ultimately, the result was a complete lack of any internet presence. No tweets, no status updates, no pins, no blogging.  But!  In the name of keeping things positive and upbeat over here, rather than complain about how stressful the summer of wedding planning and house renovating was, how about I instead share what I learned.

(in the bathroom of a wine bar in the west village while out with my sister the week before the wedding)

I learned that my sister, in the midst of her own emotional trauma, will fly in from London, live with me for two weeks, hold my hand when I need her and stand there stoically, appropriately silent while I wail about curtain hem-lengths.

I learned that my mom, who has a chronic illness that causes her to fatigue easily, will scrub my floor on her hands and knees until her knees actually bleed.

I learned that your knees bleed if you scrub the floor on them for too long.  I hope to never learn this again through personal experience.

I learned that my kids don't care if my name matches theirs, as long as it matches Kathy's so that I am really, officially, their other mom.

I learned that A is totally willing to wear uncomfortable shoes for six hours without a word of complaint if said shoes have a heel and make her feel grown-up.

I learned that B can gleefully eat more than 10 raw oysters in 10 minutes if left unattended near a seafood display.

I learned that my friends don't judge me when I'm at my worst. They just love me until I am at my best again. Or at least, something other than my worst.

I learned that my mom thinks this is a travel essential:

(yes, that is a kitten mousepad - apparently she hates using her 

laptop without an external mouse, with mousepad)

I learned that having a wedding at home does not automatically translate to it being "simpler," especially if you plan to have 100 guests and hire a caterer, a DJ, and a florist.  And also your house is on an island only accessible by boat.

I learned that my friend Lesley can assemble a lot of programs in a really short amount of time.  And that she attributes this to having small, nimble fingers.

I learned that having my dad walk me down the aisle meant way more than I thought it would.

I learned that Kathy is absolutely gorgeous in a strapless floor-length dress.

I learned that, if left unattended, C will not hesitate to climb a tree while wearing a tux. 

I learned that the Cherry Grove community is my home -- and that the people who live an play there are unabashedly enthusiastic when two brides step off the ferry, followed by 100 of their nearest and dearest.

I learned that the people who were there, with all their love and support, were the ones that mattered.

I learned, most importantly, that in the end, the wedding doesn't matter. The person you marry, does.