(it's a Japanese Mandoline)
Only without the guard, of course. Very dangerous, apparently. I made it through the broccoli, peppers, carrots, and mushrooms. But when I got to the onions, I got distracted and cut the hell out of my finger. It was bleeding all over the place, and Kathy made me a makeshift bandage consisting of a gauze pad and two band-aids, fortified with scotch tape. I almost passed out. I continued cooking dinner (which was delicious, if I do say so myself - the secret is really in the white pepper). As I was eating I noticed my finger was bleeding through Kathy's bandage. Oops. We loaded up the kids and headed to the ER. After giving me a tetanus shot, the doctor informed me that the cut was like taking a divet out of the grass when you golf -- a chunk of finger is missing, and it's not the kind of thing you can stitch shut. There are 3 consequences to having this kind of cut that I can see so far.
1. It's going to hurt a lot and take forever to heal. Which means I need help with pretty much every 2-handed task.
2. I have to type like one of these:
(Photo via here.)
I.e., hunt and peck. That means short blog posts full of lots of pictures and typos.
And, last but not least, 3. When people irritate me (like at work), I can very subtlely give them this: