Friday, April 15, 2011

much mulch

It all started with this:

Our firepit.  We built it ourselves, last weekend, in the back yard.  I took a bunch of process pictures for a how-to post.  We'll see if I get around to posting it.  Anyway.  This is what happened next...

Kathy:  We need to order wood for the firepit.
Me:  Okay.  I'll call the tree company.  I'm also going to see about getting some mulch.
Kathy:  Okay but not too much.  Budget budget blah blah blah... (okay, so maybe that's only what I heard)
Me:  Yup.  Got it.


Me: How about mulch, how much is that?
Tree company guy (named Ed):  Well, it's $20 per yard.
Me:  Cubic yard?
Ed:  Yes, cubic yard.  And it's a 5 yard minimum.
Me:  I think that will be enough, but I'm not sure.
Ed:  Don't worry, if it's not, we can send you more. 
Me:  Okay, well, I'm not supposed to get too much anyway, so yes, let's go with five.
Ed:  We'll drop it off tomorrow morning.


Kathy:  Wait, what??  You spend $100 on mulch? 
Me:  Yes, that was the minimum.  And it's so much cheaper than buying it in bags.  [Rationalizations, rationalizations].
Kathy:  Ugh.


And then this showed up:

Ahem.  Yes, that's a dumptruck.  Of mulch. In our driveway.  Kathy was watching from the window, and she asked me whether they were going to dump the whole truck load.  I told her there was no way.  And then this happened.

I have been pitch-forking mulch into a garbage can (we don't have a wheel barrow!) and dragging it around the yard and dumping it, for two days.  Yesterday, I also ran three miles.  When we sat down to watch TV at 9 last night, I promptly fell asleep sitting completely upright.  And now, the pile looks like this:

Do you think that looks exactly the same?  ARGH.  Me too.  And yes, that's a kitty litter bucket beside the pile.  It's because C, the five-year-old was forced volunteered to help, and that was the most mulch he could carry.  Wimp.

Anyway, Kathy keeps asking me where the rest of it is going to go, since our flower beds are now about 9/10 done.  I always have some kind of answer, but to be frank, it's BS.  I have no idea where all that effing mulch is going to go.  Perhaps next year I will buy it by the bag from Home Depot.


  1. I forgot to say that because the mulch is damp, it's really kind of hot in the middle. It's composting in our driveway as we speak. Which means there is a pretty good chance it will spontaneously combust while we're sleeping tonight. At least that will solve the problem of where to put the rest of it.

  2. doesnt that stuff stink?

  3. Well, I think it smells kind of nice -- earthy and woody. But in any event, after one good rain, the smell is gone.